A Small Friend for a Small Man

As a previous entry illustrated, my rabbit developed adult needs and interests. Considering that my rabbit is more of a hermit than I am and never goes anyplace to meet people, it was up to me to find some outlet for my small friend's sexual frustrations.

A friend of my own accompanied me to a retail outlet where we could observe various options for my animal.

"Invest in a penguin" suggested one friend. "There aren't arms and knobs and tails to get in the way, they like that." There was apparently more of a science to this than I anticipated.

I found a penguin chick that was small and fluffy and a very good size for the rabbit. But it was in that young "just hatched" phase and I wasn't sure if my rabbit liked them so young. I like to believe he prefers his toy factory partners to have a little more maturity.

There was an emperor penguin which was a bit larger and had some nice curves, but I doubted my rabbit would be inclined towards the sexual dimorphism patterns of humans. In fact, I liked to believe my rabbit was not a fan of inter-species copulation at all.

The decision was made to find the best stuffed rabbit available. Many options were brought forward. The first stuffed rabbit we came across was a shy looking thing with a modest mousy color. I quickly spotted dust bunnies clinging to the fur that told of a much harder life than the innocent tale her face implied.

Friends brought before me additional options. The next rabbit to face my judgement was a soft creature suitable for nuzzling a small child's cheek, though her position implied she was into more adult activities. She certainly looked like she was in need of a home and some stability, and perhaps my rabbit and her would have gotten along fine. Yet, she seemed like the type to want to whisper sweet nothings and look tenderly into the eyes of one another, with her legs spread eagle. I distinctly recall my rabbit preferred to not make eye contact during the second and a half that he is sexually engaged. He is the "hit it and quit it" type, and it would certainly break this gentle stuffed animal's heart to subject her to such usage.

The last two to be presented to me were a close tie. One was of a similar breed to my rabbit, modestly bowed like a round little pod of rabbit fluff. But ultimately... I made the call where it needed to be made. I decided on the rabbit with the preferable rear. If my rabbit's tastes are anything like mine then he would appreciate the curves of this rabbit, no matter the fact that the stuffed animal is at least twice as large as he. "More to love" lets say.

The prize was thus delivered to my rabbit and my comrades and I retreated to allow him to get to know her in privacy. I couldn't be certain how long it would take for  this rabbit and his new mate to reach that level of the relationship. After all, I have had my rabbit for upwards of two years before he made such inclinations towards my arm.

Some hours later my comrade crossed paths with the little rabbits in courtship and discovered my pet mounting his fuzzy partner in the most vigorous and eager manner. We all came to watch and see for ourselves as well as to cheer him on- he did not stop, possessing no sense of decency or privacy when in such a state.

By now we have long since lost track of how many times the two have sealed their union with fornication, but I have have been concerned from time to time that the rabbit may be so interested in his companion he could forget to eat. If that be the case I should congratulate myself for being such an excellent match-maker.

A Brief Molestation

Due to the serious connotations of the title I should open this post by mentioning that I have a pet rabbit. This fact is not presented in order to make you think of something warm and fuzzy as a distraction, having a rabbit entirely relates to the title. I know what you are thinking at this point. You are thinking the rabbit is the source of this minor molestation I experienced, and that is absolutely correct.

My rabbit and I do not spend much time together. However, from time to time we rekindle over our mutual appreciation for silence and cozy beds. I will recline in a comfortable location with a book and the rabbit will investigate the room, occassionaly joining me and sniffing me.

 This rabbit is a very silent creature so he rarely distracts me from my book. I was understandably surprised and concerned when I heard my rabbit emitting a quiet groan as he leaned close to my arm.

He pressed his mouth and nose to my hand which caused me minor anxiety due to the sharp teeth I know he posseses. This was unusual behavior from him and so I remained still as his body slithered along my arm.

Then it happened, quite suddenly, as a matter of fact. My rabbit proceeded to hump my arm vigorously.

For those of you keeping pets that have not been neutered you may be familiar with this violation that takes place. When the dog engages in these acts, he is slow and rhythmic and gives the owner plenty of time to disingage him. When the cat begins the coital display, one can often see what he is preparing for before he finishes the first thrust, and easily remove him. When a horse gets the urge, his terrifying dangling equipment can be seen from a safe distance and one can seek shelter before such a destructive instrument can even be swung in their direction.

Unfortunately, the rabbit is a tightly compacted, spring loaded reproductive machine. This means he will strike with the rhythm of a jack hammer as his body emits a rapid thudding, "BRRRAAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPA!" and the sexual episode is immediately over.

This brief molestation entirely took place over the duration of a full second, by the time I fully registered what my rabbit had begun doing it was already over. Before I could respond, the rabbit had completed his act and left the scene of the crime.

The entire event left me with a very strange feeling of discomfort so I researched the best course of action to take and the internet recommended that I attend meetings for sexual abuse victims where we can come together and share stories about our attacks, and how we are coping and healing.