Valentines day

Numerous complaints arise that Valentines day today is only a hallmark event to give loved ones gifts. To counter this, we can celebrate Valentines day in the customary manner!


Lets kill a religious man-
Three Saints, all known as a variation of Valentine, were executed supposedly at this time centuries ago. Respecting their sacrifice in annual religious events has been a custom in the Christian community long before Valentine's day was associated with anything romantic.

This year, one Chris Sepulvado will be executed on February 13th. He is a deeply religious man that boasts about his faith in God and the church. He has made numerous appeals for his life but he will almost certainly be dead this Valentine's day.  His crime? 20 years ago he murdered 6 year old Allen Mercer with a screw driver.

Admittedly, we can't quite call this years sacrifice a martyr when he is in fact a terrible man who likely deserves every moment of hell he believes is coming to him. This Valentines day we will essentially be celebrating his death.

The media celebration of course has different plans, so by all means, celebrate with chocolate in heart shaped boxes if that is how you respond to executions.

A Small Friend for a Small Man

As a previous entry illustrated, my rabbit developed adult needs and interests. Considering that my rabbit is more of a hermit than I am and never goes anyplace to meet people, it was up to me to find some outlet for my small friend's sexual frustrations.

A friend of my own accompanied me to a retail outlet where we could observe various options for my animal.

"Invest in a penguin" suggested one friend. "There aren't arms and knobs and tails to get in the way, they like that." There was apparently more of a science to this than I anticipated.

I found a penguin chick that was small and fluffy and a very good size for the rabbit. But it was in that young "just hatched" phase and I wasn't sure if my rabbit liked them so young. I like to believe he prefers his toy factory partners to have a little more maturity.

There was an emperor penguin which was a bit larger and had some nice curves, but I doubted my rabbit would be inclined towards the sexual dimorphism patterns of humans. In fact, I liked to believe my rabbit was not a fan of inter-species copulation at all.

The decision was made to find the best stuffed rabbit available. Many options were brought forward. The first stuffed rabbit we came across was a shy looking thing with a modest mousy color. I quickly spotted dust bunnies clinging to the fur that told of a much harder life than the innocent tale her face implied.

Friends brought before me additional options. The next rabbit to face my judgement was a soft creature suitable for nuzzling a small child's cheek, though her position implied she was into more adult activities. She certainly looked like she was in need of a home and some stability, and perhaps my rabbit and her would have gotten along fine. Yet, she seemed like the type to want to whisper sweet nothings and look tenderly into the eyes of one another, with her legs spread eagle. I distinctly recall my rabbit preferred to not make eye contact during the second and a half that he is sexually engaged. He is the "hit it and quit it" type, and it would certainly break this gentle stuffed animal's heart to subject her to such usage.

The last two to be presented to me were a close tie. One was of a similar breed to my rabbit, modestly bowed like a round little pod of rabbit fluff. But ultimately... I made the call where it needed to be made. I decided on the rabbit with the preferable rear. If my rabbit's tastes are anything like mine then he would appreciate the curves of this rabbit, no matter the fact that the stuffed animal is at least twice as large as he. "More to love" lets say.

The prize was thus delivered to my rabbit and my comrades and I retreated to allow him to get to know her in privacy. I couldn't be certain how long it would take for  this rabbit and his new mate to reach that level of the relationship. After all, I have had my rabbit for upwards of two years before he made such inclinations towards my arm.

Some hours later my comrade crossed paths with the little rabbits in courtship and discovered my pet mounting his fuzzy partner in the most vigorous and eager manner. We all came to watch and see for ourselves as well as to cheer him on- he did not stop, possessing no sense of decency or privacy when in such a state.

By now we have long since lost track of how many times the two have sealed their union with fornication, but I have have been concerned from time to time that the rabbit may be so interested in his companion he could forget to eat. If that be the case I should congratulate myself for being such an excellent match-maker.

Siren Rape - The Unending Alarm

There is no way I can adequately express how incredibly horrible an alarm that will not go off can be. I would not wish on anyone to endure the same duration of horrible, ear-splitting, shrill, repetitive tones calling you to your death- people certainly don't tolerate it more than a polite second when I begin singing.

If you wish to follow along, with what I had in mind, I will allow you to click here and listen to this siren as you continue to read.

9:45 : A car begins to emit its shrill siren call mid morning. The tranquility of my home is instantly shattered and whatever peace I had found in my morning exercises was quickly taken from me.

10:00 : The rhythm of the alarm was starting to bother me, seeping past my ears to the point my brain seemed to pulsate to its pitch. I hoped that a shower would relax me and the sound of water would cleanse my ears, but in fact the bathing room functioned as an echo chamber that drove the siren deeper into my skull.

10:45 : I do my best to drown the sound of the siren out by playing piano. The rhythm of the siren is infectious and prevents me from playing any music at the appropriate pace, all music takes on a different beat and wails painfully after the sound of the siren.

11:30 : My patience wears thin. A friend has contacted me to ask my well-being and I extend pleasantries only for a short while. I soon after accuse them of causing me a painful head ache. They place the blame on the alarm and surely, after the friend has left the head ache remains, as well as the alarm.

12:00 : I begin seeking shelter in corners of my home. I try to find someplace that is safe from the alarm. In my frantic pursuit of peace I hide behind a couch, I slither beneath the bed sheets, I finally burrow into the back of a deep walk in closet where I seek shelter behind a dresser. But it is to no avail, the siren reaches me wherever I go.

12:45 : Amidst my struggles to find peace in my own home the siren finally stops. The shrill call has penetrated me deeply and it takes some time for the echoes to leave my body. The sensory overload has induced such strange associations with the new silence. It is so pleasant I am almost certain the silence tastes like fresh water and feels like the erotic touch of a flower petal on sensitive skin, stroking the surface of my brain.

12:50 : I lay prone on the carpet, soaking up the tactile sensations of silence when I am assaulted by a foreboding "beep". The Siren then begins again.

13:30 :  I look out my window with an unseen pleading stare to my neighbors. Am I alone in this suffering? Is no one else tortured by this grating cry? I can feel my ear buds effectively trying to crawl out of my ears through the wriggling passages of my inner ear.

14: 30 : Any faith in my neighbors has been lost. I feel rage, the song of the siren gives me an uncanny thirst for blood, or rather destruction. Actually vengeance, I'm pretty sure I feel a desire for vengeance. For the continuous assault on my ear-holes I must reign terror on the owner of this car. I found myself in my yard, unsure how I got there. My hand strokes the long neck of a steel peacock that ornaments my porch. I think how it would do an adequate amount of damage to this person's automobile. Alas, a voice of reason calls from the back of my head, barely a whisper through the screams of the siren. The reason tells me that violence is not the answer. After effectively 5 hours of this nonsense, this is a ridiculous notion, but I listen to it.

14:45 : A friend manages to convince me to call the authorities and make a noise complaint. It should be mentioned that I had full intentions, on this day, to not contact much of the outside world- a decision that this car was pointedly ignoring. I overcame this decision and finally contacted authorities but with little promise that something would happen. Again, I was alone, with my head, and the siren.

15:00 : I discover that my screams block the sound of the siren. As long as I scream loudly, and persistently, I can force the sound of the siren out of my ears, and during a long scream I can force the imprint of the siren out of my mind. I bask in this relief and I lay in my bed, screaming. Each long throat wrenching cry brings minor relief, but as each scream dwindles and allows the siren to retake it's hold the insanity and pain regains its footing. The length and duration of continuous screams exhausts my mind and body of oxygen, now I fight to stave off the siren, and the vertigo.

15:45 : I receive a phone call asking me if the sound is persisting. I cannot recall what I said, I am sure it was unintelligible nonsense. I was failing to accurately string together thoughts and sentences. Words were what fit the rhythm of the siren now.

16:00 : A police officer walks along side the car, summoning a young man along with him. The owner of the car opens his automobile and spends 10 minutes with his head in the trunk, disassembling the alarm. I'm not sure if 10 minutes with his head in the belly of the beast is enough to accurately punish him for this noisy instrument left in front of my yard.

16:25 : Silence is restored. It felt so good, I'm pretty sure if ears were capable of fornication this would be the way an ear feels upon experiencing climax. Hm, I don't remember having any protection during that ear-assault. I should probably get myself tested for Ear AIDS.

A Brief Molestation

Due to the serious connotations of the title I should open this post by mentioning that I have a pet rabbit. This fact is not presented in order to make you think of something warm and fuzzy as a distraction, having a rabbit entirely relates to the title. I know what you are thinking at this point. You are thinking the rabbit is the source of this minor molestation I experienced, and that is absolutely correct.

My rabbit and I do not spend much time together. However, from time to time we rekindle over our mutual appreciation for silence and cozy beds. I will recline in a comfortable location with a book and the rabbit will investigate the room, occassionaly joining me and sniffing me.

 This rabbit is a very silent creature so he rarely distracts me from my book. I was understandably surprised and concerned when I heard my rabbit emitting a quiet groan as he leaned close to my arm.

He pressed his mouth and nose to my hand which caused me minor anxiety due to the sharp teeth I know he posseses. This was unusual behavior from him and so I remained still as his body slithered along my arm.

Then it happened, quite suddenly, as a matter of fact. My rabbit proceeded to hump my arm vigorously.

For those of you keeping pets that have not been neutered you may be familiar with this violation that takes place. When the dog engages in these acts, he is slow and rhythmic and gives the owner plenty of time to disingage him. When the cat begins the coital display, one can often see what he is preparing for before he finishes the first thrust, and easily remove him. When a horse gets the urge, his terrifying dangling equipment can be seen from a safe distance and one can seek shelter before such a destructive instrument can even be swung in their direction.

Unfortunately, the rabbit is a tightly compacted, spring loaded reproductive machine. This means he will strike with the rhythm of a jack hammer as his body emits a rapid thudding, "BRRRAAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPA!" and the sexual episode is immediately over.

This brief molestation entirely took place over the duration of a full second, by the time I fully registered what my rabbit had begun doing it was already over. Before I could respond, the rabbit had completed his act and left the scene of the crime.

The entire event left me with a very strange feeling of discomfort so I researched the best course of action to take and the internet recommended that I attend meetings for sexual abuse victims where we can come together and share stories about our attacks, and how we are coping and healing.