An Almost Ghost

Understandably there are varying degrees of belief when it comes to the paranormal and supernatural. Some believe that ghosts are here to hurt us, others believe that the ghosts are present because we first hurt them. I personally believe that my injuries acquired in almost interactions with ghosts, are entirely caused by myself.

A recent injury to my body and my pride was the result from speaking of a ghost known for searching for her lost child. This apparition is said to be angry and emotional as well as irrational. She lashes out due to the loss of her child, and she is angered by anyone who she perceives has neglected aiding her search for her kin.

The image of her grey rotting skin, matted hair and blood swollen eyes was a stain on my mind no matter how I told myself "Even in the event of ghosts... logically speaking she has no reason to lash out against me."

 
On a quiet morning, I awoke to leave my dwelling place very early, before the sun had risen. I cautiously opened the front door and stared out past the stairs stretching over my door, at the dark landscape. A single street lamp was the only source of light out doors. It was quiet that morning.

I stepped out and began to lock the door after fumbling with my keys. As the door clicked I heard the unmistakeable tap of feet on the path behind me. Afraid to look over my shoulder, I looked upon the door in front of me.

The street lamp was casting my motionless shadow on the door. The brief attempt at comforting myself vanished as the foot steps grew closer and a shadow raised up behind my own, stretching over the height of the door as though a great beast loomed over me.

I quickly attempted to flee the possible assailant and I threw myself forcefully on the door. The locked door did not give way to my tackle and instead bounced me back without remorse. I briefly scratched and beat at the door as I wailed my would be last words.

"Stop! Stop! No!" the rest of my message trailed off in a pained whine.

I fell to my knees, still pressed firmly to the door, and I finally glanced back at the approaching apparition...

My neighbor stands motionless on the stairs previously mentioned to be placed over my door. The light behind him on the path sends a long dark shadow through the slats in the stairs, cloaking my door in the mass of his shadow.

We stare at each other in a long quiet pause, regarding each other in silent recognition. He finally speaks, "A little jumpy this morning."

I grasp my door handle and lift myself to my feet, "It would seem so..." I respond in a dignified tone.

"Perhaps, less coffee." he offers as a remedy to my panic.

I pull my keys free from the lock and clear my throat, "Hopefully so." I answer. We break our gaze and depart, releasing the other to their agenda.

He resumed his day with the mental image of his easily startled neighbor fleeing from a shadow. And I resumed my own day with the triumphant knowledge that I had survived an almost ghost sighting.

The Game You Always Win

If you have ever asked "Why would one ever resort to playing Russian Roulette?" And if you believe Russian Roulette must be the worst game, or so horrible it isn't even a game at all, I can emphatically express why it is the best game*

You can play Russian Roulette, even when you're missing pieces. Consider how often your game of Monopoly has been plighted due to an absent stack of money or that insufferable metallic canine that disappears with children. Missing game pieces will ruin lesser games, but Russian Roulette perseveres through these hard times.

•  If you find you are missing your bullets, you are looking at the most cheerful game of Russian Roulette ever played. Everyone is a winner in this round!
• If you do not have a gun, or pistol, your friends can grasp in their hands a bullet, or nothing, and pelt the contents of their palm towards your face. Will the fun ever end?

Russian Roulette can be played in the most desolate of times. Even the most playful companions will turn down your invitation for a rousing game of Marco Polo in the event of eviction, cancer diagnosis or loss of job. But in the most perilous positions, Russian Roulette can become the game of choice!

• You find yourself hidden within a dug out on a vast battle field under enemy fire. Refuse to play Russian Roulette on enemy terms, it would be ludicrous to rely on their luck hitting you when you can utilize your very own government issued gun to play Russian Roulette with your friends.
• During a friend gathering, your best friend spontaneously proposes to the ex-lover you still harbor fond feelings for. Russian Roulette instantly becomes the best possible game to suggest. There are only two outcomes now, either your friend's wedding tuxedo is now a funeral tuxedo, or you have promptly lost your ability to care!
• On that note, Russian Roulette can be an ideal game for failing relationships in which figuratively messy break ups are not an option.

 Finally, Russian Roulette is the only game you have always won. If you ever set out with the intention of playing Russian Roulette, you will discover that either you win... or nothing. If you don't win, you'll never know it. Your ability to fathom the concept of losing vacated your mind at a speed of 200+ m/s, along with that bullet.

As far as you can actually be concerned, by this 'logic', Russian Roulette remains the only game of chance that you always win.




*Russian Roulette and other games sponsored by Drawin Awards Unlimited and should only be used as a source of entertainment by those wishing to clean their gene pool.

The Elusive Primary Message

Women may like to be called pretty, but if they are simply not pretty, one shouldn't be expected to lie to uphold an unspoken social rule... The Elusive Primary Message

There came a moment when a girl entered my life. This chapter was not particularly long lived, primarily because of the difficulty in communication. Whether you know this or not, there is a delicate art to the first message of the day that one suitor sends another and when the influence does not come naturally the message can be difficult to feign.

I sat idly one such morning after an evening courting this woman. To display appreciation and a polite demeanor it was obligatory to send the primary message of the day. Sadly there was so little to discuss with this evening companion it was difficult to create a message.

A dear friend beside me, swollen with glee at the potential of a blooming romance, suggests, "Girls love to be told that they are pretty! Send a message telling her that she is pretty!"

There was a minor complication with this plan, which I expressed, "But she isn't."

It wasn't that she was particularly foul in appearance, or that I placed much value on these superficial standards. But none of this was explained in the long and pregnant silence that lingered between my friend and I as we exchanged glances.

I break the silence as I return my attention to the nagging blank message, elaborating, "I only feel that I should open up with something more believable." 

Careful consideration was given to potential other messages I could send. However, the various truths I could give her lacked the poetry that my friend recommended. Various failed first messages included, "Greetings, I awoke this day with a distant memory of the evening we shared." 
 "Before sleep found me, last night, I thought ceaselessly of your face, and I can confirm without question, that it is indeed a face." and
"I recall vividly most of the events that transpired on our outing last night, due to the happenings having occurred so recently. Regrettably it was not memorable enough to leave a long lasting impression on my recollections and the remedy would likely be a second, more impressive date."

Luckily she was spared all of my various levels of truth. The elusive primary message was never written and the chasm between our communications was never bridged. But I can say, with the utmost certainty, that she  is out there still, hopefully not waiting for a message from me.