Stripper Conspiracy

People spend a lot of time believing that the government is conspiring against the people, that aliens are conspiring against the government, and Russians are conspiring against the aliens. Well the last one is actually pretty obvious so I wont spend this post trying to debunk that. Instead I will point out that what we really need to be worried about is the class we thought was underneath us.

Fact, Strippers are conspiring against the hierarchy of social classes enforced by wealth.

This may have come as a surprise to you, but consider this: the strippers you've always seen are women. And the protestors that insist that being a stripper is bad and you should never become a stripper are ALSO women. Coincidence? Possibly, but I'm giving them a little more credit than that.

Strippers make a lot of money, as you can imagine, for doing some debatably easy tasks. Let's go over their job requirements:

• Be dirty
• Be naked
• Look good in the dark
• Wear high heels

Consider this, you probably accomplish 3 of the things on this list just while preparing to take a shower. Yet you're still making less money per hour.

Strippers are making crazy amounts of money for doing some relatively simple tasks and yet you are not stripping for money. Why? The shame enforced by society, and more specifically, those women that protest it!

Strippers are conspiring with other women to protest against stripping so they can keep all the easy money for themselves!  Yes, go to college, get your high education, feel dirty for the thought of taking off your clothes. The strippers and their minions have mind-washed you with their conspiracy against your beliefs about the pride of social classes.

Rude Awakening

I have had the same morning alarm for 2 years and it is starting to become a dreaded thing, like nails on a chalkboard. It isn't the cheerful wake up anthem it once was, it is now associated with head aches, exhaustion, and not wanting to function.

Last night I set my alarm to a different song and looked forward to waking up to the new music. Instead I woke up to gunfire.

If i counted correctly, 10 shots were fired. I thought to myself "Self, you now know how loud gunfire is. But that is not your alarm, so continue to sleep now." I turned over and started to go back to sleep but my room mates wanted to talk about it and discuss theories. They then called the police and the helicopters showed up.
Rather loud helicopters I might add.

It wasn't the wake up I was expecting when I set my alarm to cheerful new music last night.