There is no way I can adequately express how incredibly horrible an alarm that will not go off can be. I would not wish on anyone to endure the same duration of horrible, ear-splitting, shrill, repetitive tones calling you to your death- people certainly don't tolerate it more than a polite second when I begin singing.
If you wish to follow along, with what I had in mind, I will allow you to click here and listen to this siren as you continue to read.
9:45 : A car begins to emit its shrill siren call mid morning. The tranquility of my home is instantly shattered and whatever peace I had found in my morning exercises was quickly taken from me.
10:00 : The rhythm of the alarm was starting to bother me, seeping past my ears to the point my brain seemed to pulsate to its pitch. I hoped that a shower would relax me and the sound of water would cleanse my ears, but in fact the bathing room functioned as an echo chamber that drove the siren deeper into my skull.
10:45 : I do my best to drown the sound of the siren out by playing piano. The rhythm of the siren is infectious and prevents me from playing any music at the appropriate pace, all music takes on a different beat and wails painfully after the sound of the siren.
11:30 : My patience wears thin. A friend has contacted me to ask my well-being and I extend pleasantries only for a short while. I soon after accuse them of causing me a painful head ache. They place the blame on the alarm and surely, after the friend has left the head ache remains, as well as the alarm.
12:00 : I begin seeking shelter in corners of my home. I try to find someplace that is safe from the alarm. In my frantic pursuit of peace I hide behind a couch, I slither beneath the bed sheets, I finally burrow into the back of a deep walk in closet where I seek shelter behind a dresser. But it is to no avail, the siren reaches me wherever I go.
12:45 : Amidst my struggles to find peace in my own home the siren finally stops. The shrill call has penetrated me deeply and it takes some time for the echoes to leave my body. The sensory overload has induced such strange associations with the new silence. It is so pleasant I am almost certain the silence tastes like fresh water and feels like the erotic touch of a flower petal on sensitive skin, stroking the surface of my brain.
12:50 : I lay prone on the carpet, soaking up the tactile sensations of silence when I am assaulted by a foreboding "beep". The Siren then begins again.
13:30 : I look out my window with an unseen pleading stare to my neighbors. Am I alone in this suffering? Is no one else tortured by this grating cry? I can feel my ear buds effectively trying to crawl out of my ears through the wriggling passages of my inner ear.
14: 30 : Any faith in my neighbors has been lost. I feel rage, the song of the siren gives me an uncanny thirst for blood, or rather destruction. Actually vengeance, I'm pretty sure I feel a desire for vengeance. For the continuous assault on my ear-holes I must reign terror on the owner of this car. I found myself in my yard, unsure how I got there. My hand strokes the long neck of a steel peacock that ornaments my porch. I think how it would do an adequate amount of damage to this person's automobile. Alas, a voice of reason calls from the back of my head, barely a whisper through the screams of the siren. The reason tells me that violence is not the answer. After effectively 5 hours of this nonsense, this is a ridiculous notion, but I listen to it.
14:45 : A friend manages to convince me to call the authorities and make a noise complaint. It should be mentioned that I had full intentions, on this day, to not contact much of the outside world- a decision that this car was pointedly ignoring. I overcame this decision and finally contacted authorities but with little promise that something would happen. Again, I was alone, with my head, and the siren.
15:00 : I discover that my screams block the sound of the siren. As long as I scream loudly, and persistently, I can force the sound of the siren out of my ears, and during a long scream I can force the imprint of the siren out of my mind. I bask in this relief and I lay in my bed, screaming. Each long throat wrenching cry brings minor relief, but as each scream dwindles and allows the siren to retake it's hold the insanity and pain regains its footing. The length and duration of continuous screams exhausts my mind and body of oxygen, now I fight to stave off the siren, and the vertigo.
15:45 : I receive a phone call asking me if the sound is persisting. I cannot recall what I said, I am sure it was unintelligible nonsense. I was failing to accurately string together thoughts and sentences. Words were what fit the rhythm of the siren now.
16:00 : A police officer walks along side the car, summoning a young man along with him. The owner of the car opens his automobile and spends 10 minutes with his head in the trunk, disassembling the alarm. I'm not sure if 10 minutes with his head in the belly of the beast is enough to accurately punish him for this noisy instrument left in front of my yard.
16:25 : Silence is restored. It felt so good, I'm pretty sure if ears were capable of fornication this would be the way an ear feels upon experiencing climax. Hm, I don't remember having any protection during that ear-assault. I should probably get myself tested for Ear AIDS.
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